The elections are over and the results came in. Barack Hussein Obama has won the presidency. This is a record-setting moment where a black American ran for the highest office in the world and actually won it hands-down.
I watched each and every campaign and I was convinced that Obama hit the right cords at the right time. Everything was timed and the efficiency of the campaign was one of the best ever. In fact, after the great Kennedy, no one has moved so many people so much in little time. Obama certainly knew what to say and do. He used a lot of tactics that can be helpful if you decide to run for the White House next election. I am certain that a lot of people would find this amusing and informative. Remember, you can be the next Obama if your middle name sounds like a Muslim name and you’re confused whether you’re a Coptic Christian or a Catholic. It doesn’t matter if you are white or black. As long as you can strike a lot of controversy and have the sweetest tongue in the entire universe, you can do it, Oh yea…
Follow these steps to the letter… I mean follow every word for it and buck up. You know you can do it, I mean run for the white house next elections. No need to be a Senator first…All you need is the ability to talk like you’re rescuing a wrecked ship, and loads of controversies. You know Americans LOVE controversy.
Tactic#1 – Convince your political party that you know how to address the emotions of people in times of adversity. Tell them that you can address the problems of the country in a clear voice. After you are elected to run for the presidential campaign, get ready for some juicy donations.
Tactic#2 - Start talking. Practice everyday in front of a mirror. You should know how to address the common issues. You should also know what terrorism means. Economy is the best part. Tell people that you can make them rich like anything. Tell people about your plans for healthcare, jobs, economic revival, etc. Strike all the right cords while talking to people.
Tactic#3 – Choose a person for vice presidency who is good at foreign policy even when he voted in favor of Iraq war. The keyword is Peace and harmony. Write speeches which these two keywords as main keyword (not for Google Search Engine rankings. but for Mass emotional search engine rankings). Remember, you should know how to convince people that your running mate is a peaceful person even when he voted for Iraq war
Tactic#4 – If U.S is at war, tell people that you’ll bring troops back from war in a dignified way. If U.S is not at war, go to war. Give them a reason by secretly bombarding a good building with explosives and put the blame on an oriental group and call it Alshaheeda. Label them a terrorist group. You see, you need to change moods and your oration skills depending on the circumstances.
Tactic#5 – Throw mud on the opponents whenever you can. You should be really good at mud slinging. Create controversy and ask the opponents to create controversy about you. The best controversy is a family and background controversy. If you’re a kid, do something really spooky so that when you are in your late forties, you can cash it as a controversy
Tactic#6 – Start a website; a good looking website. Ask your photographer to capture the best pose. Put it on a website and start web 2.0 marketing.
Tactic#7 – Register on Twitter, facebook, MySpace, Hi5, and other social networking sites. Bookmark your website and ask for donations on all these web 2.0 marketing sites. Remember, you should integrate a shopping cart on your site to collect donations
Tactic#8 – Remember to ask for donations all the time. Integrate the donations pledge beautifully in your speech. You should know how to sell. This is important. Like a sales letter, you should know how to speak out the headline. Discuss the problems like economic revival, healthcare, jobs etc. and then in the end a strong call to action. you must know how to close your speech. Ask them for donations and the votes at the same time. Practice it at home before you go live
Tactic#9 – Devise a good catchword for your campaign. For example, ‘Revive’ Put it everywhere: on stickers, cars, websites, everywhere. The whole campaign should be called ‘America for revival – the new beginning’. Call yourself the Abraham Lincoln of the new millennium and people will follow you like crazy.
Tactic#10 – If your speeches are good and you have addressed people’s problems one by one and discussed a lengthy plans on how you will address the problems, get ready for the win. Practice the way you’ll walk the podium and get ready for the White House. Ask your children to get their cameras ready. You’ll be going to White House.
Also check out the Barack Obama Infomercial Video
Fri, Nov 7, 2008
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