Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category
Next Entries »Balayya Funny Videos – The Top 10 – Part 1
Thursday, August 7th, 2008As we all know the Telugu superstar Balakrishna, son of the late NTR is/was a phenomenon in Andhra. He is famous for his inhuman stunts which he can perform with elan, absolutely no sweat. The Matrix guys spent million of dollars for the Bullet Dodges, Balayya makes them look like fools.
I am not a Telugu but have watched a few of his movies, some of which i must confess, i have enjoyed. The reasons may vary from person to person but Balayya is a superstar.
I have listed below the TOP 10 best most funny videos of Balakrishna that i could find on Youtube. If anyone has better videos, pls post the link. I will rearrange the top 10. So here goes :-
10 ) Balayya killing “The Joker”(no relation with the batman’s joker) with Electric Current !! . No Ohm’s Law nothing. Only Pure Balayya tyranny.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ_r0jxYqhc&feature=related
9 ) See Balayya confusing a dying man with his Punjabi/Funjabi. No easy Rest’s in Peace in Balayya’s Land.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0t8w2WeCks&feature=related
8 ) Some intelligent guy’s compilation of DHOOM 9 with Balayya in the lead. Watch the Tata Sumo’s coming from under the ground.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2D48AhfgiA&feature=related
7 ) Balayya’s death defying Bike Stunts scene. Yellow Pulsar. Train. Danger. You laugh at the rest by watching the video.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5JzLy2e3c&feature=related
6 ) Balayya’s Train Reverse Gear Scene. Sonali Bendre is thinking what the Fu** haha. Rayalseema power
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zggwHUpHYpY
Continued - The Ultimate Top 5 funny Balayya videos
Four friends at a party!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, July 29th, 2008The second guy said, ‘Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.’
The third man said: ‘Well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction
company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.’
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: ‘What are all the congratulations for?’ One of the three said: ‘We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ….What about your son?’
The fourth man replied: ‘My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.’
The three friends said: ‘What a shame…what a disappointment.’
The fourth man replied: ‘No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too badly either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends. !!!!!!
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, ‘My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.’
Beating a bad day !!
Thursday, July 17th, 2008Happened to get this article as a forward. It was great fun reading !! Yenjoy 
Don’t take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone
you DON’T know…
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I
had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered saying,
"Hello?" I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin and could I please speak
to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that
anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and
called her. She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I
hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my
desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more
answered, I yelled "You’re an asshole!" and hung up.
Next to his phone number I wrote the word "asshole," and put it in my
desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a
really bad day, I’d call him up. He’d answer, and I’d yell, "You’re an
asshole!" It would always cheer me up.
Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caIler ID. This was a
real setback for me; I would have to stop calling the asshole. Then one
day I had an idea. I dialed his number and when I heard his voice,
"Hello?" I made up a name. "Hi. I’m with the Telephone Company and I’m
just calling to see if you’d be interested in our caller ID program?"
"No!" he shouted and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back
and said, "That’s because you’re an asshole!"
Keep reading this, it gets better!……..
A few days later I was driving into the local supermarket. An old lady
at the shopping center really took her time pulling out of a parking
space. I didn’t think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car
began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I
backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. "Great",
I thought, she’s finally leaving.
All of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the parking aisle in the
wrong direction and pulls into her space. I hit the horn and started
yelling, "You can’t do that. I was here first!" The guy climbed out of
his BMW completely ignoring me. He walked toward the shopping center as
if I didn’t even exist. I thought to myself, this guy’s another asshole;
there sure are a lot of assholes in this world. Then I noticed he had a
"For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the phone
number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I’m sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off
the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You’re an asshole!" (It’s
really easy since I have his number on speed dial now.) I noticed the
phone number of the guy with the black BMW there on my desk and thought
I’d better call this guy, too. After a couple rings someone answered the
phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for
sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It’s a yellow house and the car’s
parked right out front."
I said, "What’s your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When’s a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I’m home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Sure…"
"Don, you’re an asshole!" And I slammed the phone down.
Then, I added Don Hansen’s number to my speed dialer. I must say, for a
while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now when I had a
problem I had two assholes to call. Then, after several months of
calling the assholes and hanging up on them, it just wasn’t as enjoyable
as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up
with this solution:
First, I had my phone speeddial asshole #1. A man answered nicely,
"Hello?"
I yelled "You’re an asshole!", but I didn’t hang up.
The asshole said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "Make me."
He said, "What’s your name, pal?"
So I told him, "Don Hansen."
He said, "Where do you live?"
"1802 West 34th Street. It’s a yellow house and my black BMW’s parked
out front."
"I’m coming over right now, Don. You’d better start saying your
prayers."
"Yeah, like I’m really scared, asshole!", and I hung up.
Then I called asshole #2. Don Hansen answered, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, asshole."
He said, "If I ever find out who you are…"
"You’ll what?"
"I’ll kick your ass."
"Well, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now, asshole."
And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told
them I was on my way to 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to
kill my gay lover as soon as I got there. Another quick call to Channel
13 about the gang war going on down on West 34th Street… After that I
climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole
thing.
Glorious satisfaction! Watching two assholes kicking the crap out of
each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter and a news crew
was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
Well, Now you know what to do if you have a really bad day !!!
See the GUTS
Sunday, July 13th, 2008The American PM called for one of his men and told him to jump off and take a round swimming around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was commanded. The American PM boasted of by saying, “See the guts!”
Now the German PM called out for one of his men and asked him to take two similar rounds around the moving ship. The Trainee did as he was told. When he came back from the water the German PM said, “See the guts!”
Now the Indian PM called out for his most courageous man and asked him to take five similar rounds. The Trainee promptly replied, ” Why the hell should I ???”
The PM proudly said, “See the guts!”
Rahul & Hen
Friday, July 11th, 2008Rahul came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. ‘Who the hell are you?’ Demanded Rahul, ‘and what are you doing in my bedroom?’.
The mysterious Man answered ‘This isn’t your bedroom and I’m Yamraj’.
Rahul was stunned ‘You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family…. you’ve got to send me back straight away’.
Yamraj replied ‘Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.’
Rahul was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. ‘This ain’t so bad’ he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said ‘So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?’
It’s not so bad’ replies Rahul, ‘but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode’.
You’re ovulating’ explained the rooster, ‘don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before’.
‘Never’ replies Rahul
‘Well just relax and let it happen’
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him… ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting
Rahul, wake up you drunken bastard, you’re shitting on the bed’.
Superman, That Night…
Wednesday, June 11th, 2008Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party.
He called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some young girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him.
A little disappointed, Superman “SMS” Spiderman to see if he Fancied a few beers but Spiderman said he had a date with Catwoman.
As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman’s apartment to see if she was free.
As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on the bed With her legs open and her eyes closed.
Superman thought to himself, “So exotic, should I or shouldn’t I …wait ….I’m faster than a speeding bullet! I can be in there out again before she knew what happened.”
So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flies off happily.
Meanwhile on the bed, Wonderwoman said, “What is going on? Did you hear anything …?”
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
….
Hollow -Man replied, “No! But……. my AS* hurts like hell!!!!!”
Vijay Mallya post IPL
Monday, June 9th, 2008
Hi,
I am Vijay Mallya. My team has lost IPL. I had invested 400 cr but now I am doomed. I don’t know you but U can help me overcome my loss. I request all the techies to drink Kingfisher beer instead of tea or coffee while on work. This will not only help me overcome my loss but also increase your creativity and hence productivity.
If U have heart please forward this to all your friends. Plz do not delete it. I promise u all a better team in the coming season.
Don’t drink and drive, Drink and code..
Vijay Malya
